Sacred Activists

Heart Sharing Circle "Sacred Activists" Hebden Bridge
NEW: re-start Thu 8 Nov. 2018, 10:30am - 12noon
(probably 2-weekly) morning sharing group 
especially for those of us who like to change the outer world
while trying to maintain inner peace
"Shared sorrow is half sorrow, shared joy is double Joy" (German saying)

- updated: 30 Oct. 2018 - 

Our sharing group "Sacred Activists" (or: "Awakening Consciousness") provides a space to share and listen to each other, bringing to the group whatever we feel is appropriate. 

Our sharing group 'Sacred Activists'

We usually begin standing in a circle in silence, creating a sacred space, connecting with each other. 

We light a candle. One after another we speak, ideally from our heart and being in the present moment.
We each finish by saying "Ho. I have spoken." - then the next person speaks, until each of us has spoken once. 

After this we open to a group sharing / discussion.
This sharing can be very powerful and inspiring.
Everything we hear and say stays confidential.

We probably will meet fourtnightly THURSday from 10:30 - 12 noon [to be discussed and confirmed at the 1st meeting]
Cost: donations are welcome.
You are welcome to come 10 minutes earlier for a tea or a wee. 

Our meeting venue:
Ralph's home, 15 Mason Street, Hebden Bridge, HX7 6AW
(3rd street left up Hangingroyd Road, opp. the Co-Op, one above Melbourne Street). Ignore any cars you might block and just drive in as far as possible (no parking charge) - web map with arrow on streetmap.co.uk

Please let Ralph know, if you intend to come: tel: 01422 647157 - mobile: 07909 488272

The Sacred Activists - a Hebden Bridge Sharing Group We start with silence for a few minutes, and light a candle. This is not formal meditation, but time to quiet down and be present. Sharing: We generally speak as concisely as we can about what we are feeling in the present moment. Whoever wants to share begins the round and we follow in a circle. Consideration is shown to the group by speaking in a way that enables everyone to have time to speak and be heard. What's the group for? People who attend do so for a variety of personal reasons: "I have experienced a deep connection to people in the group. For me, this has facilitated personal and spiritual growth, the group is full of grown ups, who can put there own agendas to one side to explore joint healing, sharing honestly from the heart is what I value about the group" "SA is for me a space where people can express something about the challenges of their personal journey, in an atmosphere of acceptance, without judgement or approval. Giving each a few minutes to be heard also requires that we listen to others with respect, even if we disagree with their viewpoint. Sometimes through this deep listening, we tune in to something universal, and our hearts feel nourished and refreshed." "I love the power of sharing from the heart and the intensity and surprises, what's coming up and out when we are not interrupted. Initially I wanted to share a feeling of desperately wanting to change the world. I wanted to ?nd out if other people shared this feeling and see how they managed this, what they were doing about it.... It's become a journey of understanding myself and feeling inspired by others. It's not formal therapy, but I feel healed by the journey and able to listen respectfully as well as be heard. I've learned that I need to be able to share from my heart, my truth, occasionally this resonates with others in the group and helps them. For me there's a special energy that's created by the process. It's as a result of the group dynamic, this for me is the blessing of the sacred activists."

Deeper Darkness

 Thank you Matt for starting this website and giving us the chance to ponder these deeper realities.

Deeper Darkness seems to connect with a theme I have been persuing recently. It starts with a quote from Keats I read in the 1970s which I still remember because it so struck me at the time:

'I mean Negative Capability, that is, when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable  reaching after fact and reason.'

The possibility of resting in uncertainty seems to express what is needed to be open to this deeper reality.

This links with something from R.D. Laing:

  'The really decisive moments in psychotherapy, as every patient or therapist who has ever experienced them knows, are unpredictable, unique, unforgettable, always unrepeatable, and often indescribable.'

 I think these guys are pointing to the same thing you are alluding to, approached from another perspective. It seems to me that this perspective, or experience, exists in all aspects of life, if we are open to it. It is not necessarily a comfortable place to be. And because of that we tend to try to avoid it, and stay with what is familiar, and 'known'.

(I put 'known' in inverted commas because this is what has come to be called knowledge in our society, not an inner knowing, but what is socially accepted as true.)

You also link this to the dark night of the soul and I agree with you. Doubting socially acceptable truth can rock your whole world, crash your foundations, and threaten your security, both personally and socially.  Think how whistleblowers are seen as terrorists.

For Bion, a psychoanalyst I came across in the 70s negative capability is 'the ability to tolerate the pain and confusion of not knowing, rather than imposing ready-made or omnipotent certainties upon an ambiguous situation or emotional challenge.'  

These sorts of feelings usually generate embarrassment and shame if exposed socially. We try to keep them hidden. We don't expect our leaders or politicians to express themselves in this way. So we end up with a totally false idea of reality. It is essential for our sanity to allow these aspects of ourselves to be not just tolerated but welcomed.


 

Responding to a Complimant

As a child we need acknowledgement of our feelings and needs, and we welcome being seen and admired for who we are. Our aim is to please, to stimulate smiles of approval, even applause. When we make mistakes we are dismayed and can freeze or be paralysed with confusion. These sorts of connections with carers have been fundamental to infant survival in past eras, and are essential to developing empathy and connections with others.

All these emotions remain with us as adults, the child is still there hoping for recognition, looking for those who will agree. We carry our ideas like this baby self looking for approval. The demands of this baby self can be very loud and can often blot out our ability to listen to others with their different needs and opinions, different vulnerabilities. We have to learn we are just one of many, each needs a turn to be heard. When we receive praise we bask in the glory and allow ourselves the pleasure of having these infant needs met.

Not understanding these needs can be a source of conflict, focussed on in non violent communication. As an adult we can hold these childhood needs without them becoming overwhelming. Being in touch with these parts of ourselves can help us come into what Buddhists call 'right relationship', responding to the deeper aspect of being human, which includes care for each other and the planet. We are no longer reliant on instant gratification, but have a deeper concern for justice, autonomy, freedom. These ethical concerns arise once our childhood needs have received attention, and we can listen to others without the overwhelming demand to be heard.

As a woman I have learned to accept compliments with a demure 'thank you', even when I wanted to retort "piss off", for the way such compliments tucked me into a category over which I had no control. As an older woman such compliments come less frequently, but now it's for being wise. I guess most of us lap up compliments, but gradually my feeling told me I no longer felt nourished by this praise. It nourishes a younger part of me that needed it then, and the part of me which still craves attention and recognition. But when I can be centred in presence in the Now, it feels irrelevant, a seduction to return to an earlier way of boosting my morale. Is this a question of maturity, or just seeing through the sugary wrapping I fed myself with for so long?